Conflict
For Couples
Mini Games · 02
Conflict
10-15 mins
Round 1
Round 1
Pick a Side
When something bothers you:
Say it right away
Sit on it first
When things get heated:
Get louder
Go quiet
When you're upset:
Everyone knows
Nobody can tell
After a fight:
Need to talk it out that night
Need to sleep on it
Both pick a side.
Round 2
Growing Up
Go back to when you were a kid.
Think about a time your parents had a fight or a disagreement.
What did that look like in your house?
Think about a time your parents had a fight or a disagreement.
What did that look like in your house?
Suggestions:
Raised voices
Cold silence
Doors slamming
Swept under the rug
Talked it through calmly
One person always apologized
It lasted for days
One person shares. Then the other.
Round 3
Settled and
Unsettled
Unsettled
What is the one thing that you two have always disagreed on?
And you're pretty sure you will continue to disagree on it in the future as well.
What is the one thing that you two had disagreements about a lot at the start of the relationship?
But over time, it doesn't bother you anymore.
Suggestions:
Cleanliness
Spending weekends
Spending money
Time together
How you communicate
Work-life balance
Religious or political beliefs
One person answers both. Then the other.
Round 4
Guilty in
a Fight
a Fight
Yes, you can point at yourself.
In a fight ...
1Says “I’m fine” when they’re clearly not.
2Says “do whatever you want” and means the opposite.
3Still arguing with you in their head hours later.
4Brings up something from months ago in a new fight.
5Picks a fight over something tiny.
6Gets louder without realizing it.
7Feels sleepy in the middle of an argument.
8Says sorry first.
Both point at who's more guilty.
Last Round
Capsule:
Why You
Why You
Each of you finish the sentence. Record it as a voice note.
Each of you finish the sentence.
Record it as a voice note.
Record it as a voice note.
Even though we fight, the one thing about you I’d never want to change is ___
Suggestions:
How they make you laugh
How they never gave up on you
How they love the worst version of you
How they feel like home
Code: 0102
How to record
If either of you has an iPhone or iPad:
1Open the Seesaw Social app.
App link: seesaw.social
App link: seesaw.social
2Go to Activities. Select ‘Session Capsule.’
3Enter the code: 0102.
4Record your voice notes.
5Add a photo together.
(Optional)
(Optional)
6Done. It's saved in your timeline.
Playing long distance?
- Save with your voice note.
- Link your space with your partner.
- They add theirs from their device.
Don't have an iPhone?
Save it on WhatsApp.
Open your partner's chat on WhatsApp.
Each of you record a voice note finishing the sentence.
Some things are worth saying out loud. Maybe this was one of them.
And that's it.
Of course, your conflicts won't stop. Hopefully, neither will your reasons to stay.
Next
Intimacy
Intimacy doesn't fade because of attraction. It fades because you stop paying attention.
Inspired by principles from the book Eight Dates by John Gottman, Ph.D., & Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D.
1/14
Intro
A date night game to play with your partner on the topic of conflict. Play it on the couch together or over a call if you're apart.
